Employee receives gossipy message about her from coworker by accident: 'She really grinds my gears'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Everyone has had that moment of panic when you send a gossipy text about someone and worry that you accidentally sent it to that person. Nine times out of ten, you're just being paranoid, but every so often, you find yourself with a ton of explaining to do.

Now, what would you do if this situation occurred but it wasn't about a family or friend and instead this was about a coworker? What you do if the roles were reversed and you didn't send the unkind message, but this time, you received it? Would you confront the coworker? Would you wait until they made the discovery on their own? 

This employee got a teams message saying, "she really grinds my gears." Based on the meeting that just wrapped up and the coworker who sent the message, the Redditor immediately knew that she was the "she" in the message. While the coworker was apologetic, the Redditor did not stop herself from telling her how much the message hurt. She also stopped listening to the apologies and the lame attempts on her coworker's part to justify her actions. What was said could not be unsaid, and the coworker knew she just made the dynamic tense and awkward for the foreseeable future. Good luck to her the next time they bump into each other in the elevator again!

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. When you're done, check out this story about a long-time employee who was denied a bonus package.

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  • 01
    R T Y U 0 GH V B N SAVE YOUR SPOT "No, lady. You were caught simple as that and now you're back tracking."
    via Corinne Kutz
  • 02
    r/r/coworkerstories Posted by u/Select-Awareness3304 18 hours ago When a co-workers makes a comment in the wrong chat. D
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 03
    I was working away and a teams message popped up. My co-worker copied a comment I had made and wrote the caption "she really grinds my gears". Then immediately deletes it. I wasn't sure who wrote it. I just knew it was directed at me.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 04
    So, I wrote back and said I'm sorry for grinding someone's gears and that their message must've been meant for another chat. I did say it was hurtful.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 05
    Well the person confessed and made some excuse that they were impressed with how much I had accomplished. No lady you were caught simple as that and now you're back tracking.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 06
    She apologized profusely all of which were ignored because it didn't warrant one. What would you do in this situation?
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 07
    Academic_Network9679. 18 hr. ago Does the manager know? I know higher management can read every message written, maybe it's time they do a deep dive on hers
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 08
    Select-Awareness3304 OP . 18 hr. ago My AVP chimed in after I wrote my "yeah I read it" and said to de- escalate and he'd call me later. Well my phone hasn't rang
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 09
    My direct manager called me and said the poster was upset over it. I said upset over being a mean girl or upset that they got caught. I told management I was aware of the click because another coworker left their chat because of the drama. I do agree though someone needs to pull that chat history
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 10
    Affectionate_Fig3621. 17 hr. ago Inform HR, then just go about your business... but remember her/what she did.... I'm betting on Karma paying her a visit sometime soon
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 11
    Select-Awareness3304 OP . 17 hr. ago I know HR is there to protect the companies interests and not mine, so probably a bigger hassle but I'm going to sleep on it. I think karma struck when I called them out. Maybe it taught them to be a better person.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 12
    mmebrightside . 16 hr. ago It's not always like that with HR - and often the employees best interest is HRs best interest spending on where you live and how susceptible to litigation the org is...or susceptible to bad press via a comment going viral forcing the org to take some sort of action they would have preferred to deal with internally. And often, the point is that you are documenting this so if happens again in the future, there is documentation to point to a pattern that hasn't improved
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 13
    Select-Awareness3304 OP 6 hr. ago Thank you for this, I've always thought HR was more concerned for the company and so much the employees.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 14
    narwhal189 10 hr. ago Something very similar happened to me a year ago. My manager happened to be in the chat and saw it too. We had a discussion about it as it was classed as bullying in the workplace (the thing they were commenting on happened to be a protected characteristic they were unaware I was classed as).
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 15
    The end action was that it was recorded but not escalated. Now if it happens again there is an official record of that person making comments like that to me.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 16
    I'd advise to make sure it's recorded with HR, so if this becomes a repeated pattern you have as much evidence as possible.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304
  • 17
    Select-Awareness3304 OP . 6 hr. ago These comments are definitely swaying me to go to HR. I know there's probably a boat load of chats. The thing is my AVP is close to the person I believe to be ring leader of this mean chat group and he will go out of his way to insure the oops poster is protected. So I feel as though I'd be fighting a losing battle.
    via u/Select-Awareness3304

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terrible coworkers workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace job work coworkers reddit thread Reddit company toxic-work-environment
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